i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
