Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
