Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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