I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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