btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
