So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Watching her eat just hurts me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize