who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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