i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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