It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
