I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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