dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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