I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
are you so shy because you have an std?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
