google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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