No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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