A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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