Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
