Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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