I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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