i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Church boner. Awkwardddd
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
