Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
