no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
