Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
