wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
