do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
