dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
