Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
