weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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