Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
