I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize