I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
