okay pat passed out under dana's car
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
