no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
