After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
