So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
