please come you make the beer taste better
home. puking in laundry basket.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
