I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
operation have a gay friend backfired
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
