dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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