covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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