Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
