ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
