Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
