he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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