If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
True strength comes from lack of pants
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
