whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
