I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
