Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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