Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
