can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
