I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize