dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He did a backflip because drugs
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
