East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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