I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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