I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
