Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye

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(541): View more from Oregon

She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that

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(503): View more from Oregon

Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.

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(310): View more from California

she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving

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(510): View more from California

EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.

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