She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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