Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need to calm my uterus...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
