Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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