Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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