I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
