Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
