I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
