Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
