The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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