CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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