do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
