you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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